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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

WINTER HAS KILLED MY SOUL


Don't Worry World I haven't Died Yet!

Me and Winter have been mortal enemies for years upon years. The instant it becomes less then 40 degrees outside I begin my hibernation process and all creative motivation vanishes. My seasonal depressive tendencies coupled with the extremely confined condition of my humble abode plus my recent traveling adventures for work have all added up to a major mental and physical shut down for this gal. Sorry for the massive lapse between posts. This is my first attempt at writing since October so wish me luck...........

a lot has definitely happened since October to me and to the crazy band of nut jobs I call family :) Let me start off by say “ Happy Halloween, Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, Hanuka, Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! Oh and Happy Valentines Day just in case.” 3 days after Turkey Day I went on the road, yet again, for work and spent almost a month in Albany NY. It was cold, crappy and I spent half my paychecks on gas alone but I loved being out of the house. While on the road the rents were in and out of court and also in and out of their lawyers office (bankruptcy crap). An extension was given to them yet again for the cleanup and they were 99% sure that the state would not be abler to foreclose on our house. I returned home to a very bitter sister who had been imprisoned in the house of junk for virtually the entire time I was gone and to two very oblivious parents who yet again were to wrapped up in their own junk they refused to see what was happening around them. Yeahhhhhhhh I love hostile loved ones just before the holidays. The icing on the cake had to of been waking up one morning 3 days before x-mass and finding a great big sign hanging on my tree in the front yard that oh so nicely declared to the entire neighborhood that our house was being foreclosed for back taxes and also how much we owed. Apparently the town didn't get the memo from the lawyer about a settlement........or they did and just didn't give a shit................ I wanted to put a huge bow on it and decorate it like a present. It said specifically not to remove the sign but no where did it say “please do not deck this signs halls with some festive Christmas cheer” ….................... the wind blew it down before I could get to it though lol............................... so my pops declared bankruptcy and he and his lawyer set up a payment plan for the back taxes. We no longer are in danger of loosing our house for that reason but ( here's the shocker) WE HAVEN'T CLEANED OUT THE DAM HOUSE EITHER!!!!!!!
Thanks to my new found love life/ boyfriend who lives in another state/disaster zone, a very personal crisis of my own and an overwhelming feeling of being defeated by the world I decided to simply put out some emotional fires between the rents and sis out so we could get through the holidays and ignored the rest of the house until the new year began.
We made it through Christmas and actually had a very decent time doing so. Mommy dearest is currently on weight watchers and is doing great :) 90lbs lost so far! Everyone lets clap for her because honestly I am with all my heart proud of her accomplishments. She's upped her getting out of the room and has even become apart of our family again. Only problem is she has taken over the kitchen and her and my father have become little project addicts which is for the most part OK with me because it keeps mama dukes moving around and a step closer to getting her health under control.
So where do we stand now? I have no f***ing clue!! We and when I say we I mean my father, have yet to do anything productive clean up wise in the past few months. Part of the problem is it being winter. As foreseen by the two brilliant charming Robinson daughters, snow plus deathly freezing weather has literally ceased all get this crap out of here efforts primarily because who the hell wants to move crap in the freezing cold winter? As for where they stand in the courts eyes....... yet a again I have no clue. My sister and I know what areas of the house need to be cleared for the most part but every time we try to ask them about it or about their plans on getting it cleaned or when the heck the next inspection is we get nothing as a response or some gibberish nonsense that is usually a half truth because they either don't want to be scolded by their daughters or don't want us to give our advice. We have tried and tried and tried to help them. Our only goal, though they will never see it this way, was to just get the junk out of the house so the town would finally leave my parents alone. We didn't expect huge radical lifestyle changes but we did insist that some of the “what things stay” power would be entrusted to us. That was and forever will be the deal breaker for us in this situation. Pop's needs real hardcore behavioral therapy but thanks to a life time of living how he want's will never ever ever be able to understand that he does. It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love my parents and have completely let go off fighting them due to me just not having the energy. Sister sweets is on a war path with them and I can't deal with either sides any more. I just have no answers to offer any of them. I just pray that soon my father will hit a breaking point and finally ask for help. Until that day I only have one choice. Get my stuff in order as best I can and prepare for my future which will not include living here much longer. The biggest of all obstetrical I face is not my parents, because lets be blunt they're fricken adults and if they want to go down in a blaze of stupid glory so be it, but my sister. She is seriously disabled, fighting for the little bit of a normal life she has and is 110% limited to where she can go to get out of here. My mind starts to hurt when I think about the reality of her situation. If I don't help her or figure out a way for her to be taken care of like she NEEDS to be taken care of, then absolutely no one in this world will. Where does that leave her? Huh huh now I'm getting cranky pants here because I'm just pissed that after everything my family has been through there still isn't one ounce of stability for any of us to rely on esp for my sister. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...................................................I'm breathing.....
........................ thinking happy thoughts like Glee and New York Cheddar potato chips and comfy socks....................................OK I'm better now. Well anywho, I promised I'd dust the bathroom shelves for my sister and my mother is yelling from her room that she needs help reading her e-mails ( double clicking is apparently tricky for my mother the cardiac nurse hahaha). Now that I've somewhat brought everyone up to speed a little I can wrap this entry up yo. Life is a silly thing and I happen to have one of the silliest fate has to offer. I shall do my best to get back to writing again not just because my sister has literally passive aggressively berated me about not writing virtually every day for 3 months but because I forgot how super cathartic it is!! I'm hungry now. Weird I know but typical krissy. I'll be back:)

Friday, October 22, 2010

I HAVE RETURNED

After three long weeks of work in good old Methuen Mass I've finally returned back to the “ Scariest Place on Earth” (REALLY!!! that's the name you had to choose for our episode?????? I just about peed myself when I saw that. Don't get me wrong it's definitely a fitting title just a tad in your face dramatic if used in an everyday conversation setting... example A.............

Me- Hey did you happen to watching hoarding buried alive last night?

Friend- Yes it was very moving?

Me- Oh was it the taking out the trash episode? Or the Sisters clash one?

Friend – Nope it was the SCARIEST PLACE ON EARTH one.

Me – ohhhhhhh that sounds freaky. Where there dead animals all over the place or where the hoarders just freaks?

Friend – No nothing like that. They were normal people, their basement was just jammed pact with a lot of crap and had some sweet cob webs and spiders.

Me – Well that's anticlimactic hahaha

….....................................................................AND …..................SCENE !!! )

Sunday, July 25, 2010

AS SEEN ON TV.......Well not yet but soon


The only thing I can say about this whole experience is, wow my sisters ring looks really kick ass. I'm attempting to look very deep and poetic while fake typing. OMG this is ridiculous but dam amusing all the same. It's taking a massive amount of effort on my part to be serious right now. Oh I feel a laugh coming on..at least I have this little pink computer plugged in now and I'm not just typing on a blank screen. I hope I'm pulling off a seductive hot typing vibe or at least I appear presentable and un- super uggo..............ahh now time for some deep thoughts.. nope none are coming to mind except for the genuine concern I feel for the man named Pablo who has been given the basement to shoot. I haven't seen him for a few hours now and I fear he may come back up a very changed man, or missing a limb, or speaking in tongues or he may never resurface again. to Pablo I say good job brave man, I appreciate your effort and hard work. If the basement hasn't eaten you I will buy you a beer later =0  OK we rapped taping for this scene ( how Hollywood professional do I sound right now haha) onto the next which involves your truly watching TV on my couch of awesome but with the TV muted.....................oh man the stupid things on the fishing and hunting channel which is just as boring if not more so without sound blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ....................hmmmmmmmm

That little rant of random was the product of me attempting to look as natural as possible while a perfect stranger with a camera squatted in front of me and tapped me doing my “usual couch activities” which by the way have never involved writing my blog. If by some small chance there is an actual clip of me watching TV in the show I must set the record straight and inform all who will listen that


  1. I do not, nor will I ever, recline on my couch like Cleopatra being mildly entertained by her least attractive man servant.....typical Krissy position is sprawled out, comfortable ( usually in some strange contorted leg up on the back of the couch position) and chances are as unattractive as possible. (side note half way through filming me lounging all regal like the camera started to frig up which in my mind was due to my oh to sexy posing)

  2. When I do watch TV, everyone in the house knows it. I lack the ability to keep my thoughts and reactions to myself hahaha the worst is “so you think you can dance night.”For 2 hours you'll hear nothing but laughter, some times tears, massive amounts of clapping and or out raged comments of disagreement with the judges, all spewing forth from me living den of awesome (I got my father and a few of the crew members to actually refer to the living room as that and I'm not ashamed of this fact ...nope not at all). Very rarely am I just sitting their channel flipping with out an ounce of amusement or reaction. I may be portrayed as such and just wanted to take this opportunity to give ya all the real deal low down on me and my I don't really give a poop what I look like mentality that I usually display 90 % of the time esp in the morning or after work.........you're welcome.... haha
                  Onto the good stuff

First up, I shall provide for you a list of everyone who was involved in this epic 5 days of filming glory.

Krys- Director Extraordinaire (when ever you see us talking on camera it's her we're talking to. It was that or sock puppets) She has the patience of a saint and a great sense of humor which worked well with my family. She's also the one bent over backwards to make this all happen for us even after my father had to cancel the first time. I can't even begin to express my eternal gratitude for her and everyone who worked with us and gave us this chance to finally get to the roots of our troubles. Any apprehension I might have had about doing the show Krys made vanish and allowed us all to really feel comfortable with the entire process. She actually cared and it showed. I would like to say thank you again to Krys. You my friend are a rock star in my book for ever and ever :)

Natalie- Assistant Director/ tape girl / errand runner/ secretary / super cool Patio buddy for Krissy when outside was the only non filming area to be. ( we discovered the true value of small spray fans and extra large watermelon umbrellas for summer time survival.) If Natalie lived in CT I would totally recruit her for my BFF club of joy even if she is the reason for my newly discovered addiction to Red Bull and sugary snacks. Dude I Luv U hahaha

Brett- Primary Camera Man and Ukulele Owner (I must mention my utter disappointment that I was not informed Mr. Brett had and could play a Ukulele until the final day of shooting....Dude I could of broken out my mini accordion and had a small instrument jam session but noooooooooo...whatever...there's a chance he may be back for the follow up shoot and then it shall be on yo!)

Pablo- Second camera man, Light guy of glory (clamp lights were placed in areas of my house that have not been touched or looked at in years. Their sudden appearance led me and my sister to theorize that both Pablo and Brett are magical beings from some alternate TV production reality which allows crew people to dematerialize piles of junk in order to place their equipment where need be then they rematerialized the crap back into place.................that or Pablo happens to be a phenomenal monkey climbing fool and Brett has really long flexible arms....either is an acceptable explanation for their talents ) Basement Warrior.

Mike- Sound Man aka “Mike with the Mics” ( it may be cheesy but it's still pooping funny to me so judge as you might the humor is still there) not only can Mr. sound man pull off the whole 25lb front toting sound equipment box look he also happens to be a fellow geek and provider of a few mental melt down moments of hilarity.... bravo sir bravo.

Kosmo- Big Jib camera dude ( for those of you who aren't AV tech savvy a jib is a big ol camera on a crane like device that can get those wide steady swooping shots. Kathryn wanted to keep the Jib forever but had to settle with a bunch of pictures haha ) Kosmo was not apart of our merry group of nut jobs for long but the time we spent together was quality bonding due to us all being trapped in the house thanks to the mornings rain fall. I dub him Sir Jib Man with a kick ass name.

Jen- Therapist and my little anti hoarding Angle. Jen was asked last minute to fill in for her coworker who had to cancel due to her husband becoming ill. Jen was super great and a trooper and had to come all the way from Long Island just to talk to our loco bums. Not only was she sweet she was also a tremendous factor in making pops McGee see the entire picture of his disorder andddddddddd she gave us some great guidance about dealing with our family's future anddddddddddddddddd ( this is the biggest achievement of the extravaganza) SHE TOOK AN ANTIQUE CRYSTAL RADIO THINGY MABOBBY FAR AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! High five women, I heart you.

Carrie- Professional Organizer ( she's actually here right now working with dad) this lovely woman has been assigned the task of working with my father and mother for the next month on cleaning and the proper way to go about it. Already I applaud her for her determination, professionalism and ability to spot dads silly logic train processing. Keep up the good work my friend :) (yo she just schooled him in front of me hahaha love it )

Now you know everyone, onto the having your life filmed for 5 days thing........................It was an eye opening experience..........a 110% surreal............dam funny …..............a tad unsettling for the piles of junk at least ….........and the first positive thing that has happened for my family in over 10 years.

It took five days to shoot, 4 days to recover from and 2 days to fully process the whole ordeal in my head and I now owe it to myself to sit down and let my thought spew forth.

What Taping a Reality TV show About My Fathers Hoarding Has taught ME:


  • Living in the living room, even with huge piles of junk dubbed the “the great walls of solitude” is by far the greatest aggravation I face daily due to our living arrangement. Big issue was the fact that my area happened to be the only place in the entire house that had any real form of space or seating which meant it was the hot spot for equipment stashing and solo in house interviewing. I had anticipated this so I was def prepared for being relocated to other places. What I wasn't prepared for was the simple fact that I had to get up every day super early, plan my bathroom breaks with filming, being tapped first thing in the am without coffee in my blood stream or makeup put on my face and oh yeah little heads popping up from various areas of my house while I was attempting to get clothes, get dressed or simply play my wii. I'm use to the lack of privacy but the complete disruption of my personal routine was really f-ING exhausting. ( don't worry though. Revenge was mine when my crafting supplies, which have been stored and stacked at the end of my oh so attractive love nook couch, decided to forge a vicious attack on the camera crew............twice................my stuff is just as in-tune with me as my fathers crap is with him haha)

  • After years upon years of telling my father that he has become consumed by his disorder he finally is willing to not only listen to us but is also done making excuses for it. He's changed, not just for the show but for real for real changed. His entire demeanor has transformed back into the man I know as my pops. Michael Robinson is not only my father but one of my favorite people in the whole world. I've always been daddy's little girl and will be so forever. I love him and hated myself for fighting with him about the hoarding. He was so lost into his world of junk and clutter he couldn't see how much we wanted to just help him not hurt him. He hated what he was doing but didn't know how to stop which made him retreat even further from us entirely. The cycle has been broken and the silver lining has been seen...hallelujah I got my popples back........


  • Mama Dukes is still crazy, still an emotional ball of spit fire but she's finally ready to become part of the family unit again. She has many obsticals in her way and must relearn how to function like a typical human being with out my fathers being her man servant ( by the way my mom is and will forever be the queen bee of my house hold and frankly i'm in awe of her and my fathers relationship. They are best friends and true loves who fight like lions but never lose sight of their love and never take for granted their relationship. Now if only we could get them out of the house more often to go socialize with people other then the two blonde whack jobs they spawned..............baby steps right?) Ridiculous as this may sound I can't wait to get super annoyed with my mothers nagging and questions. I also can't wait for the day when I can go talk to her about something with out giving a 20 min explanation as to who and what I'm talking about, because hopefully she'll be out of the room and apart of our daily discussions...oh and not having to end every conversation with having to do a random task like get her a yogurt from the fridge would be bloody awesome thank you very much. Love you mommy....;)


  • Krissy Robinson + HD cameras + Bright production lights = Nothing but Trouble.
    First day of shooting, the camera Brett was using, all day mind you, crapped out momentarily during my lounge session on the couch. The next day, the very same camera was used to tape my fathers interview first then mine. Literally 4 questions away from finishing my Q&A fest the lovely piece of machinery actually broke entirely and fried out a charger thing in the process. At this point I turned to Brett and Krys and boldly explained that my sexiness is obviously to much for the camera to handle and therefore my utter hotness fried the poor thing. Brett didn't seem to think this was a valid cause for the problem so we decided to just agree to disagree, but I know the truth my friends and now so do you haha. My 1 ½ hour long interview turned into 3hrs but I was given a carrot cake cupcake with a gummy bear on top as a reward for sitting in a chair talking. ( the irony of being thanked for talking for 3 hours, seeing as speaking whether it be to myself or anyone around me is my favorite hobby and greatest talent nowadays is by far enough hilarity to keep me amused for awhile.) anywho.....................ah yes, I'm to shiny for close up shooting, which means I've got oily skin and when you shine a bright light on my face the effect is not so beuno for HD TV hence my need to carry my powder compact with me at all times. Brett aka “makeup artist” was constantly slathering powder all over my nose all while I'm voicing my complaints that he's just trying to dull my radiant bright and shininess which is like dampening who I am as a person. I was joking of course. The funniest thing that happened occurred when he hopped up on the back of the couch and tried to get an over the shoulder shot of me typing. He kept trying to adjust the position of my little laptop on my thigh and I couldn't figure out why until finally he looks at Krys and says “ I'm just worried that there might be to much sun light thigh for a family discovery program.” hahahhahahahahahahahaha I told you all that I was to dam sexy for TV now I know that my right thigh when lit properly is highly seductive too. Thanks to everything that has happened during my on camera time I've come to the conclusion that maybe reality TV isn't the best way to go about being famous seeing as me and the camera have a very volatile relationship. I shall stick with random public access shows until a sitcom drama slash comedy comes my way hahhahahahaha


  • while the filming was happening we still had to do normal things like run errands, laundry ( down at the laundry mat thanks to a broken dryer) keep tabs on everyone's mental stability level, get everyone fed ( dude not gonna lie, having a crew of people get you food daily for free was Def a sweet bonus to the filming process ) and the basic everyday typical things. Thanks to me being the only non-broken person in the house other then my father a lot of these tasks were left to me seeing as pops McGee was 90% of the time needed for filming. By the last day I was drained of all energy and emotions and left to face a lot of realities. I love my family and they are truly all I have in this world but I can't keep living for them and forgetting about myself. I really have put my life on hold for them and accepted a lot of stupid arrangements just to help ease a bulk of pressure off my father. I also have sacrificed a lot of my self in an effort to keep the peace in the house. I've become a mediator, counselor, distractor, provider and main means of financial/ emotional support in a home that I can barely live in myself. My free time is no longer mine. Simply writing outside alone is usually interrupted, nightly plans have to be coordinated with my sister due to her needing my car. My days off have become mom and Kathryn's doctor appointment days and I'm constantly rushing around desperately trying to do what I want to do before I have to answer to someone else. I have no control over my life and frankly I'm ready to change. I'm not my parents keeper nor did I birth Kathryn so why do I act like it. It's been a really rough life for us Robinson' s and making it better isn't going to be easy but it can be done I just can't be in the center of the storm any more, not if I want to get my own crap together. I'm just really tired but I will muster up every ounce of energy to help my parents and sister get the life they deserve. I love them they are my family and have done everything they could to help me so I will continue to return the favor but without giving up my own goals in the process. We are finally on a productive, healthy track and I'm here to keep nudging everyone along it not lead the way with a marching band haha. It's time to get my Krissy on yo! Watch out world.

So many things happened thanks to the show and now it's just a matter of time to see if there will be a permanent effect on my family. My hope for a better future is def increased by 90% but I know there is still a lot of the war to be fought. We're strong, smart funny honest people just trying to get back to enjoying our time spent on earth. The rents actually have to go to court on Monday ….....grrrrrrrr....................................................fingers crossed everyone. I'm pep talking dad into standing up for himself for once, he's so timid it hurts, he's nervous but has continued to keep the clean up process on track and organized. I'm so proud of him and love him with all my heart. He above all us deserves to be happy. I'm going to go hug him now......................I'll keep ya all posted on the next happening in the Robinson house of loco :)


P.S. No matter how they decide to edit our 40 hours of footage together, I would like it to be known that my life, though at times pathetic does involve more then just waking up, going to work and blogging. hahaha