I'm awake before noon, on my day off and complete and utter free rein of not only the computer but the house for the next 8 hours......................WHAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........my eyes have yet to open fully and my hair is in the same disheveled mess that only a full nights rest can form it into and I'm still waiting on the coffee to brew but i shall seize this moment of unadulterated ME time and use every minute of it to finally get back to spewing my unique and whacked out views of the world I live in.
Big News and Scary Truths...........
My family problems have now snowballed into catastrophic disasters that have literally rendered us incapable of living any type of normal lives. My father is facing financial ruin due to taxes and is being bullied even worse then before by the towns lovely go F yourselves board of i don't give a poop people to get the house cleaned which is all raining down on his head like a monsoon causing him to shut down emotionally physically and mentally. Getting him to see this has become and epic battle between me, my sister and him. we've reached a standstill and have lost any real hope that our problems will ever be solved before any of us die. A bit dramatic you may say but true none the less.
Amongst all this despair and doubt something recently happened that spurred and glimmer of sunshine to gleam through the gloom. A very real, very possible chance to get some big time Help with my fathers hoarding has landed in our laps. I'm talking a cleaning task force, therapy, professional organizer and a fully functioning living environment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the big news and half of me wants to do cartwheels around my house in celebration but for fear of breaking every limb on my body I'm settling for a small one armed fist pump show of triumph..WORD! we need this help not just so we can get the place clean but because i need to feel for the first time in 8 years that my family can be safe and OK. Everyday I'm filled with anxiety over what will happen to my family when i leave.
The scary truths are in order to get this help we as a family will have to expose every little detail about our lives to the world. The life we've been living, the life my father and mother have kept hidden from everyone for over 15 years, the life I've been running from every chance i can, this life would be unmasked and put onto display for everyone to see. That scares me and makes me feel unsure about excepting the help BUT I'm out of options and will do whatever it takes to get my family the life and love it deserves. We aren't bad people, or disgusting trash. My parents aren't criminals but yet in a court of law they are labeled as such and that disgusts me beyond anything else in this world. In order to help my father we will have to hurt him in some way by forcing him to finally face his demons and I'm almost in tears just thinking about seeing my Loving Dorky kindhearted father going through the harsh reality check of how bad his disorder has disrupted our lives. The Guilt will bring him to a state of dis-spare and i won't be able to snap him out of it. I can only pray that we as a family with the help of friends can be strong enough for him and supportive enough for him to ensure that he can come out of this whole thing in one piece. I love My Crazy Junk hoarding Daddy :(
Coffee is done and I have a window display to finish..............this Def isn't my most poignant post in the history of ever but hey at least i wrote something hahaha
