Reality TV has come along way since the first season of the Real World on MTV years and years ago. Now we have the luxury of watching bounty hunters catch bad guys, family’s of sextuplets and twins raise their children, people singing their hearts out or dancing their legs off, Random nobodies being locked in a house with strangers for months on end or other “who the hells is you locos” getting shipped off to a remote island so they can do ridiculous challenges, for a host who always looks sparkling clean even though they are in the middle of a nasty bile filled jungle, all for the chance to get toilet paper and a cheese burger haha. Now, America has been given a chance to take a peek inside the lives of family’s dealing with the overwhelming life hindering problems that result due to duh.. duh… DUH ……………..Hoarding!!!!
Well guess what? One of those family’s is going to be my family! We begin tapping in less then 20 days……………………go ahead wrap your head around that last statement………has it sunk in yet?…….wait for it………Ah there ya go friends now your on my wave length here J Yup my big TV debut is going to be because my Fathers a Hoarder!
Whahoooooo…. All of America is going to get a front row seat into our lives and see how ridiculous our living situation is all while outsiders attempt to help break through my fathers oh so crazy lord of the crap fog that has taken over our house and resulted in daily battles with toppling piles of junk…………… Should be fun ha …..or at least highly informative and I’m hoping for the sake of my family a huge turning point in all our lives. (Fingers crossed, please please please!) If anything, I’m totally convinced that if the production crew can first make it through the front door with out running for cover, let alone four days of tapping in the abode that fights back they will be rewarded with some A1 top notch Robinson family footage that will completely open the worlds eyes up to a whole new ball of hilarious insanity. Our one shared gift amongst the Robinsons is our out there quick as whip humor and our ability to find the funny in anything. I just feel bad for the film crew because Kathryn and I tend to use sarcasm and flat out goofballness to cope with stressful situations which means when they go to tape those classic “ heartfelt I’m in pain because my fathers hoarding is killing me” scenes it might take a few tries due to our inability to stop laughing. Well, that’s not entirely true. If Kathryn is asked the right questions will she’ll start flowing out the tears like the sobbing sap ball woman she is ( In a good way Kathryn, not in a I think you’re a ridiculous sobbing mess of emotions way, but in a Kathryn is very in touch with her feelings and a sensitive caring person kind of way J I love you I love you I love you…..don’t hit me) I on the other hand only cry after a really great episode of The Biggest Loser ( I have no idea why but for some god forsaken reason I get choked up when the contestants do, it’s like I too am a 360lbs women just trying to get my life back or something hahaha ) or when I’m drunk and someone pushes the emotional buttons orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr………… when I’m so overwhelmed or hurt that I can’t hold back the tears but even then it’s rarely in front of anyone unless they catch me off guard ( or are breaking up with me for some pathetic hurtful reason of their own making haha… ex boyfriends while in the process of becoming my exes, my family and a handful of friends are the only people on this earth who have witnessed me emotional spew via my tear ducts) I tend to become hostel or pissy or a sarcastic force of nature not to be messed with unless you feel like having your pride shoved down your throat and ripped out of your back side haha ( I’m not a physicaly violent person but verbally I’m that 6 foot 7 220lbs bully who likes to take your lunch money for sport but only if someone trully deserves it) Not a big fan of getting wha-wha sobby faced so Good Luck TLC. I apologize now for any complications my shutting down coping mechanism may cause you and if it’s any consolation I happened to be dam funny and quit entertaining when avoiding my sad emotions …………… (I literally just jazz handed and went tadah after I wrote that last sentence, it adds a bit of drama I feel)
My main concern is my Father. To be serious for a moment, this whole thing is really taking a huge toll on him and I feel absolutely horrible sometimes when I look at how gut wrenching it is for him to have to show the world his problem. He’s spent virtually his entire life in a constant state of privacy only allowing a handful of people in and now he has to air out his dirty laundry for the world to view ( well technically it’ll be my dirty laundry, well just laundry seeing as I’m, the only one in the house with out a room haha my cloths end up everywhere which is why I’m convinced I have to pack up my personal items of apparel i.e. my bras and britches and bring them to the storage unit or something or else hoarding buried alive is going to become buried alive by Krissys undies, socks and apparel and that’s just not direction I think the producers really want to go in hhahaha) the problem is, though I feel bad for him and wish I could make everything better I also can’t help but feel like saying “ Dad get over it man, we’re all in this big ol boat of junk together but you’re the Noah that put us here so enjoy the flood.” My sister and I have literally tried everything to get him to make some what of a change for the better and nothing, I mean NOTHING has worked. This Show is honestly our last hope of ever finding some shred of normality in our messed up out of control lives. I know he’ll be able to finally see that after all is said and done but until then my sister and I are silently being resented by the man for (according to his logic train of silly ) Making him do the show because it’s our fault it’s happening. He doesn’t yell or deny us anything he just retreats deeper and deeper into his world of crap and blocks us out until we make him snap out of it. It’s like when a 6 year old gets in trouble and they’re thoroughly convinced that their parents are completely unfair for punishing them but they don’t throw a tantrum because they know the punishment will just get worse so they mildly storm off to their rooms where they quietly and well behaved like plot revenge for when their older and can do whatever they want…….yeah well that’s what my dad does…… sort of ….. Nope not sort of ………….definitely that’s exactly what the old man does.
My sister’s going to have a super rough time just because 12 hour long days of tapping is absolutely not at all remotely even close to her normal half the time able to function schedule. I feel that we may have to cough up some extra scratch and get her a hotel nearby so she can at least have a somewhat haven from the crazy and a fighting chance at actual sleep…………………………it’s that you knock her the hell out every 6 hours hahaha…………. We shall figure this out; it’s what we loving sisters do while not bitching to each other about the rents or life or well, each other J
The top stress inducing concerns I have are mostly for the other members of my family and their wellbeing through all of this but I have most assuredly saved a big ol honking truck load for myself thank you very much! My biggest in your face worry is the fact that I will be seen on TV as an adult woman still living at home with her parents even though I have a job and not only do I live at home I actually choose in some sad pathetic way to accept a couch as an appropriate living area. Can you say WTF is wrong with this chick????????????????? Good, because I say it to myself almost every day hahaha…. Reality of the matter, my parents and sister have become extremely reliant upon not only my car, financial assistance and all around emotional support that leaving here any time soon would be like leaving 3 ticking time bombs next to a comp fire with a pyromaniac roasting marshmallows over the flames! It’s a shabby excuse but it’s 100 % true and explaining that to people has become out right fucking annoying. I’m always given blank stare looks of dumbfounded and the words “you just need to leave” are always sure to follow. My true hopes are that after the show we get on to the right fricken path for the first time in ever and I really and truly can “just leave” PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I’ll just need to find a roomy but that’s why god invented Craig’s list for right?)
I have faced a very sad truth though. I can safely say that being on TV and having the world know how I live is probably going to be a bit of a damper on my love life hahahha Nothing says sexy like “I live at home with my junk loving parents and my sick sister and oh yeah, I sleep on a couch in the living room with no walls for privacy other then piles of crap” ………….
Oh yeah men of this nation start drooling cause your dream girl has arrived!!!!! Hahahahaha ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life’s gonna be a freak show for me for awhile but hey like I’ve been saying for the past month…there’s gotta be a guy out there somewhere who thinks hoarding is H.O.T j/k j/k I’m not the hoarder and anyways if there is a man out there with a hoarding fetish then he wouldn’t be eyeing me. He’d be lusting over my fathers “junk” and that’s just down right nasty if ya ask me haha well I’m off to figure out a great hiding place for my granny panties. Wish me luck my friends and pray for all of us.
